Neverending

So I'm watching youtube videos i made two years ago when i was a size smaller. yes, one size. and they're so depressing! i was so cute and healthy looking. ew. i am large and in charge now. not cute. actually, i'm pretty sure that was two sizes ago, but i'm lying to myself and saying its one size and wearing a size too small. THIS IS NOT GOOD PEOPLE!!! aw and my hair was long and pretty and :(
so basically, i have decided i just should stop eating for a couple years, and then i can go back to being my cute little size 8 self i was in high school when i actually weighed 150 like it says on my driver license.
graarrrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!
ok. so this 2000 calorie idea is not working out. i've decided to give up bread again until i lose 20 pounds. bread is just a boat on which butter and cheese and other fattening things like to ride into my gut. i don't think bread is going to be enough though...i would love to have the stamina to get up early and go jogging but i don't think thats gonna happen. maybe i can work up to it though...i had to give up my gym membership for monetary reasons, but now that i'm "back in the black" (like, i'm not negative in my checking account) i can get that up and running again. i don't know. its summer, so maybe i'd go? like 3 times a week? YES I CAN!!! if obama can i can. haha. what?
god i was cute 2 years ago. i need to get my shit back together. ok excercise plan:
at least an hour of cardio every other day. or every day i don't have to be at work early. NO every other day no excuses. and also i will do ten crunches right now. and i'll add one every night. i'll do 11 tomorrow morning, then 12 tomorrow night, then 13 on thursday morning, and 14 on thursday night...and then maybe i'll stick to 14 for a few days so i don't get angry at myself for this stupid idea. yeah. or i'll start at 20 and go up every other day instead. yeah.

ANYWAY rambling. anyone have any weight loss tips for a fat, lazy, pampered girl?
*m