Oops

I guess I didn't really introduce myself, so here's me in a nutshell:

yeah, you saw that coming right?
but seriously, i'm a 21 y/o chick living in a large, metropolitan city. i love to sing and dance, and though i suck at the latter, i'm pretty decent at the former. i get a few gigs here and there, but i'm no american idol. (thank god! i accidentally caught the last ten minutes tonight before glee and the two finalists are AWFUL. the girl was off key and the guy was emotionless. terrible, really a travesty. i should be on that show! i love incubus and modest mouse and aqualung and other emo boy singers who rock my cock. i also love powerhouse female singers like audra mcdonald and lady gaga. i have an eclectic taste in music. i hate country, except for shania twain who i have a small soft spot for, for sentimental reasons. i don't hate myself, nor am i an unhappy person. i'm unhappy with my appearance only because i know i can do better, and get more work as a singer/actor in a pool of beautiful skinny people if i'm one of them.
but, i'm happy. i'm an optimist, and i'm moving to another city next year and that excites me and i'm a psychology major, too. for some reason i've yet to figure out. my boyfriend just picked his nose and wiped it on his shirt and then realized i had noticed and looked up at me and i totally caught him. ha.

that's me, pretty much.
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Neverending

So I'm watching youtube videos i made two years ago when i was a size smaller. yes, one size. and they're so depressing! i was so cute and healthy looking. ew. i am large and in charge now. not cute. actually, i'm pretty sure that was two sizes ago, but i'm lying to myself and saying its one size and wearing a size too small. THIS IS NOT GOOD PEOPLE!!! aw and my hair was long and pretty and :(
so basically, i have decided i just should stop eating for a couple years, and then i can go back to being my cute little size 8 self i was in high school when i actually weighed 150 like it says on my driver license.
graarrrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!
ok. so this 2000 calorie idea is not working out. i've decided to give up bread again until i lose 20 pounds. bread is just a boat on which butter and cheese and other fattening things like to ride into my gut. i don't think bread is going to be enough though...i would love to have the stamina to get up early and go jogging but i don't think thats gonna happen. maybe i can work up to it though...i had to give up my gym membership for monetary reasons, but now that i'm "back in the black" (like, i'm not negative in my checking account) i can get that up and running again. i don't know. its summer, so maybe i'd go? like 3 times a week? YES I CAN!!! if obama can i can. haha. what?
god i was cute 2 years ago. i need to get my shit back together. ok excercise plan:
at least an hour of cardio every other day. or every day i don't have to be at work early. NO every other day no excuses. and also i will do ten crunches right now. and i'll add one every night. i'll do 11 tomorrow morning, then 12 tomorrow night, then 13 on thursday morning, and 14 on thursday night...and then maybe i'll stick to 14 for a few days so i don't get angry at myself for this stupid idea. yeah. or i'll start at 20 and go up every other day instead. yeah.

ANYWAY rambling. anyone have any weight loss tips for a fat, lazy, pampered girl?
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Introductions and Such

Hi there. I'm going to follow the trend of blogietting. I'm going to attempt to lose 20 pounds by July 3, 2010 (my 3rd anniversary!) and this is going to be my daily account of how goes it. if you're bored already, just stop reading. if not, maybe try to do it with me and you can laugh at my failures and feel better through the art of schadenfreude. whatever.
DAY ONE: i ate a bagel, and it was absolutely swimming with butter. according to my good friend google, that's 495 calories. i used an insane amount of butter, so we'll round it up to 500. now, i'm going to do this thing the healthy way. my first attempt at dieting is going to be to just stick to that "2,000 calorie a day"diet which everything is based on. Now, i'm the kind of girl who enjoys bagels a lot. i would eat three bagels a day for years and be happy. as long as i could eat chocolate too once in a while. so bread is my weakness...i gave it up for lent last year and was a very unhappy camper. so i'm thinking i can only eat one meal that centers around bread per day. that should help, right? ok so i'm done for the day with the bread. :(

planning ahead: lunch will be a starbucks grande iced unsweetened shaken black tea and a snack-fulls. if you haven't had a snack-full yet, try it because they're uh-mazing. its like mommy packed you a snack. apple slices, bunny grahams, a string cheese stick and a little box of raisins = 270 calories of joy and evoked feelings of childhood goodies.

anyway. i have to go to work now, and do the corporate asshole thing.

kisses
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